Thursday, May 28, 2015

It's Not Good-bye, right?

I've been staring at a blank entry page here for a couple of days.  I have a million and one thoughts in my head, but have no idea what to say.

My big brother passed away this past weekend.  He was 40.  My only sibling.

When we were little he'd say "Why do you think mom and dad stopped having kids after you, Nikki?"  And I'd say "Why do you think they tried again after you?"  We fought all the time, but we loved each other as siblings do.  We'd both make comments when we fought about wishing we were an only child.  Neither of us actually wanted that, obviously.

My heart breaks in a way I cannot explain.  Rest with the Lord, Scott.  Big brother.


  1. I am truly sorry for your loss! It must be so hard to lose someone so close to yourself and then at such a young age.
    I will pray for your brother and my thoughts are with you!

  2. Thank you. That's very Kind of you.

  3. Oh Nikki, I am so truly sorry for your loss. He was so young. I can't imagine what you're going through. My older brother and I fought alot as kids too, but as you say, it's normal, it's siblings. When my Mom passed I blogged about memories of her. They are still on my blog (on my personal blog, Sandy's Spaces). I blogged in alphabetical order to help me focus on better times, and the forced a - b - c, helped bring back memories. I found it very cathartic to share those stories. You might enjoy doing that, you might prefer not to make them public, we're all different in that regard; but writing them gave me a lift. I didn't rush to do them all right afterwards, it was an on going project. In fact, I'm still short a few letters. Give a look if you're interested.

    1. That is a wonderful idea, thank you! I may just do that.