Saturday, May 19, 2012

Shaky Saturday

My weekend is not starting off well.  (Tutorials may have to wait)  I had to bike downtown this morning for a rehearsal with my improv group.  Today is the worst day of the year.  Komen Race downtown AND the German Village (my neighborhood) yard sale day.  Literally half a million people all in the area.  The area I live in draws a lot of tourist-y type people already and yard sale day is just utter insanity.  So, to save my sanity (or so I thought) on driving through this or finding parking, I rode my bike to the theatre.  Not a half a mile from home an old woman, not paying attention to ANYTHING walked right out in front of me on my bike.  I used language I'm not proud of.  Later on the ride home, I was with 2 of the other folks from my group on bikes and a woman in a car threatened to shoot us with her gun.  We're still not sure why.

I just dropped WAY more money than I have to spend on a helmet and groceries and gas.  So now I'm broke even though I JUST got paid yesterday.  Then there was the grocery store.

I think it's time for me to give up on grocery shopping forever.  Sadly theonlyboyfriend almost never goes, so food will be scarce.  I'm ok with this, we're not big foodies anyway.  I had another melt-down in the grocery store.  I can count on one hand the number of times I DIDN'T have a panic attack in a grocery store in the last 10 years.  I just can't handle it anymore.  I'm tired of freaking out every time I go shopping anywhere and coming home without anything I needed.  Grocery stores leave me shaking for hours, but god forbid I need to go to a mall for anything.

I just want to never leave my house again.


  1. Wow! You definitely had a wild bike ride to and from work. I'm glad the woman DIDN'T shoot you guys!

    I completely understand about the panic attacks. Mine happened if I just stepped on my front steps and sometimes even if I stepped out of my bedroom. Once I started gaining control over them, they would happen at random. I'm happy to say that I still do get anxious in many situations but I can control myself to keep me from getting into full panic mode.

    1. Yeah, I used to get them a lot in high school. Then I kinda just grew out of them. Not sure why I've started having them again. I mean I get nervous in certain situations as it is, but haven't had full blown panic attacks in years.