Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Good-Bye little one

My horoscope for yesterday:

"You have a calming effect on people today, since you're emotionally centered.  It feels good to nurture others.  Give out smiles and hugs."

I’ve suddenly lost all faith in astrology.

NotDog is gone.  I, unfortunately, had to make the heart-breaking decision to put her down or wait for her to go on her own, possibly in a horribly painful manner or possibly quietly in her sleep.  Either way it was inevitable.  I know I did the right thing, but I can’t help but feel like I let her down.  She looked to me for comfort, support and protection.  She looked so terrified yesterday and wouldn’t leave my side.  I don’t know when I’ll be able to shake the image of her looking straight into my eyes and taking her last breath from my head. 

I’ll never forget her.  But picturing her sleeping on God’s face and waking him up with squeaky mews and a swat to the face helps a little.

Good-bye little one.  I hope someone in Heaven heard the song I wrote for you so they can sing it to you every morning as I did.  And find a nice warm face to sleep on.


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